Went to serenade my Rosa,
On a misty Saturday night,
But the way she smiled,
With her hair so wild,
Told me something wasn’t right.

Oh, I tried to flee,
But she was holding me,
By the uke I loved so dear,
And as I ran away,
I could hear her play,
Haka Haola burning my ears.

CHORUS:
So, never toss your ukulele,
To a grasping zombie fiend,
Cause the living dead,
Can’t make no bread,
On the post-hawaiian scene.

Oh, they’ll steal your girl,
And damn the world,
Cause they only play for brains,
Just keep your strings,
From those terrible things,
Or they’ll drive us all insane!
***
Went to see my nephew Tommy,
Cause he’s 5 years old today,
With a clown called Steve,
Who does make believe,
I was hired to sing and play.

Kids ignored the cake,
I began to quake,
Bloody maws a’lookin mean,
Tiny living dead,
Trying to eat Steve’s head,
As he quickly fled the scene.

CHORUS

Went to play my ukulele,
In the deserted streets downtown,
But I was not alone,
Cause a rising moan,
Told me dead were all around.

And you won’t believe,
But it was Rosa and Steve,
With a 100-strong uke band,
So that shuffling horde,
Named me as their lord,
Play and shamble ‘cross the land.

So, now I play the ukulele,
Cause I’m a grasping zombie fiend,
And the living dead,
Always get a head,
In the apocalyptic scene.

Now, I got my girl,
And we rule the world,
Cause we only play for brains,
And the sages tell,
There’s no room in Hell,
But to me, it’s all the same.